The Single Most Important Life Decision

Dear Friend,

I was recently asked by a 23-year-old fitness intern at our gym, Train4theGame:

“What advice would you give your 23-year-old self?”

My initial instinct was to talk about career — pursue passion, take risks, swing for home runs instead of singles and doubles. At 23, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

But then I realized…

I had already met Crizen three years earlier, at 20.

And that single decision — to build a life with her — became the most important decision of my life.

The One Decision That Shapes Everything

We don’t get to choose the family we’re born into. That’s the starting point, the set of cards we’re dealt.

But your life partner — that’s the person with whom you build your future family. That single choice shapes the trajectory of everything that follows — your happiness, health, success, even how future generations live and love.

The compounding effect of this decision can be positive, negative, or anywhere in between.

20 Years In: Lessons from the Journey

As Crizen and I celebrate 20 years of marriage this year, we’ve been reflecting on this — not just as partners, but as parents whose kids may soon meet their own.

So we’ve asked ourselves:

What are the mandatory attributes in this decision?

Life will throw curveballs. People evolve. Couples change as a unit. But one thing is certain: struggles are inevitable.

In those moments, your partner is either the person who lifts you higher — or the one who pulls you down.

Resilience, when tested and proven, becomes the foundation for growth. Seeing that quality early — in both people — is worth more than surface-level harmony.

Battle-Tested Roots

Both of us come from immigrant families who did their best to plant new roots. We lived through the effort, the uncertainty, the grind — and we appreciate the monumental lifts our parents made to build this life for us.

Now our kids start from a stronger position. So the question shifts:

How do we help them build that same battle-tested resilience?

Through sports? Tough love? Free-range parenting? Letting them fall and learn?

It’s a question we’re still exploring.

Choosing Each Other — Every Day

As we celebrate this milestone, away from the kids, maybe the best way to teach is to model it — by showing that we prioritize each other.

For years, we’ve talked about eating our way through San Sebastián, but between a new business and a backyard project, we almost skipped it. Then we reminded ourselves: life is about the journey, not the destination.

So we’re making it happen — and yes, we turned it into a golf trip (because why not?).

Much to celebrate, much still ahead — but if there’s one truth that keeps resurfacing, it’s this:

It’s not about marrying the right partner, it’s about being the right partner.

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This newsletter is intended for informational purposes only and does not constitute giving medical advice or endorsing any treatment. The use or application of the content herein forms no doctor-patient relationship. The information in this newsletter should not substitute for professional medical evaluation, advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

Thanks,

Mike